Anxious Play

This past Saturday I went to the Little 500 Qualifying Races. My husband coaches a team, the Christian Student Fellowship Men's team. The weather was beautiful, and the excitement at the track is contagious.

I started the day cheering on my friend Kath, who rides for Theta's team. She's an INCREDIBLE athlete, and an amazing cyclist. I had so much fun watching her compete, but I also felt a lot of nervousness and anxiety while she was actually racing. Especially when they have to do those exchanges! AH! So terrifying!!! But, despite the anxiety, I really had a blast.

Later, watching Justin's team compete, I felt anxious not just for the boys but also for Justin. I know how much they have trained and how hard they have worked, and I was so nervous that they wouldn't do well.

This made me think about anxiety, worry, nerves, anticipation, and play. I felt like I had a playful experience on Saturday, as well as enjoying the day, but I also felt quite a bit of anxiety. Throughout the day I used the word stressed, but I'm not quite sure that's what I was feeling. It might just be semantics, but it seems to me that there's a difference between feeling anxious and nervous and stressed. I don't know that I can think of a situation where I felt stressed and also felt like I was playing. I did, however, on Saturday feel like I was playing even though I felt anxious. Interesting, and something to think more on.

ONE MORE THING!

MARY- I BLAME YOU!!!!!!

Failure... leads to Insight?

So I'm a failure- I failed to bring home my embodied player this week!!! I left it in the cupboard in our classroom. I feel like such a loser- I was excited to take pictures of my player with me during Spring Break. Also, I like to follow the rules, and since the "rule" was to write a blog after Spring Break about our times with our embodied players, I felt rather badly about forgetting my player.

Levi, Krystal, Seth, Leah, and Me

However, as I started to think about Spring Break, and who I would like to be as a player, I thought of my sweet friend Leah. Leah is 8 years old, in third grade, and practically perfect in every way. She's my best friend Krystal's daughter, and I really love her. While I also sincerely enjoy and love both of Krystal's other kids (Seth and Levi), there's something special about Leah and I's friendship.

This past week I went to the Children's Museum in Indianapolis with the Jones kids and Krystal, and we had a blast! I had never been, at least not to my recollection, and I was really excited to go. It was everything I hoped for and more! We saw basically all of the exhibits, and of course, took lots of fun pictures.

Thinking about who I would want to be as a player made me think of Leah, because Leah is wonderful when it comes to play. She's incredibly kind, and while very shy at first, once she opens up she is quite the talker. She's really fun to be around and to play with, as she loves to have fun, laugh, and go with the flow. Throughout the day, despite having seen these exhibits before, she still took it all in as though it was the first time. There were multiple times when her brothers wouldn't want to do something because they had done it before, but Leah would take every chance to do anything offered at the museum, whether it was a craft, digging for dinosaur bones, or playing dress up.

Leah digging for bones

More than anything, Leah doesn't let anything stand in her way of play. She has fun no matter what she is doing. Even if it's something she's done a million times, she makes it fun somehow. She's not inhibited the way so many of us "old folks" are.

Leah playing dress up with scuba gear

Leah striking a pose in Egypt

Leah and Krystal- "Walk like an Egyptian"

Leah in Egypt.

Leah and I

After the Children's Museum, the girls went to Trader Joe's, our absolutely most favorite grocery store ever. While we were in the store a song came on, to which Leah said, "That's our school song! We dance to it every Friday!" So, I asked her to show me the dance. Without hardly blinking an eye, in the middle of the grocery store, she starts dancing. I LOVE THAT! While I generally have few inhibitions, I love that she didn't even seem to think about the cultural norm of how to act in a grocery store. Before long, Krystal and I were both dancing with Leah, and all of us were laughing hysterically. The great thing is that everyone else in the store that we saw laughed with us, and seemed to love that we were having such a great time.

So, to sum up this post, I want to be more like Leah. I want to be uninhibited with my play- to enjoy it fully no matter the situation.

Play despite sickness

I've been sick all weekend- really from Thursday until even now as I write this. Being sick is really not much fun, and it's hard to play when you're sick. But, I also don't feel like I didn't play at all this weekend. I finished my book Insurgent and started a new book. I watched a lot of TV on DVD, which is one of my favorite things to do.

This activity actually made me think about flow. I easily lose track of time when I watch TV on DVD. There are no commercials, I can hit "play all" so I don't even have to control the remote, and the next thing you know, I've watched 3 hours of television! (Don't judge me!) This made me wonder if I'm experiencing flow, or if it's more just "zoning out", and what the difference is between the two.

Looking at this diagram that Lina found, I would say that when I am watching TV it's in the "Relaxation" zone. I definitely have the skill level needed to watch, and the challenge level is low as I watch TV that doesn't require a whole lot of thinking. So there's definitely a difference, I think, between experiencing flow v. zoning out or relaxation when watching TV.

But this then made me think about reading Insurgent. My inclination is to say that I'm experiencing flow, because reading is a more cognitively taxing activity for me than reading. However, reading a book like Insurgent doesn't present much of a challenge for me, as it's writing on about an eighth grade level. But I don't necessarily feel like it's totally relaxation, as the challenge level isn't too low. So perhaps, according to this diagram, I'm in the control zone. I'm not sure though, and still feel like it is flow- I am enjoying the experience, and I feel like I'm acting in complete control. According to Dr. C, flow is a “Holistic sensation that people feel when they act with total involvement” (pg. 36).

Perhaps there is an element of flow that really comes down to the person's opinion/feeling about the experience, and not just the challenge and skill required.

I love flow.